Getting My Feet Wet

This year I will celebrate my 20th year of pastoral ministry. A few years ago I began making some notes on my early years in ministry with the thought of writing a book about my adventures. This is the first chapter of that book. I hope you enjoy. Fr. Rick

"Peter answered him and said, 'Lord, if it be thou, bid me to come unto thee on the water.' And He said, 'Come.' (Matthew 14:28-29a)

When I felt called to enter the ministry I had visions of grandeur. I envisioned myself standing behind a large, oak pulpit with a Bible the size of the I.R.S. tax code and a congregation of thousands. I imagined a huge pipe organ pumping out Bach preludes and processionals with dozens of people, banners, and crosses. I could see the nimbus encircling my head as the light of glory shone around me.

What I could not envision was the reality. The reality was the living room of a rented house that was converted into a sanctuary every Sunday. The reality was a wobbly lectern built by my step-father from some scraps of wood found in his workshop. The reality was an electric keyboard purchased by my grandmother and played by my wife. The reality was a 100 watt light bulb hung from the ceiling fan over the makeshift pulpit.

The first church I pastored was made up of a few family members and friends from the neighborhood surrounding Fort Jackson, South Carolina. We named it Faith Community Church. "Faith" because that was definitely what we started on! "Community" because we were located in the heart of the Drexel Lakes community. And "Church" because, even though there were only twelve of us, Jesus said that we qualified by having more than the pre-requisite "two of three gathered" to worship Him.

The adventure lasted almost a year. During that time we had several conversions, several baptisms (held at a neighborhood Baptist church), and a wedding which was held at a local Methodist church to accommodate the crowd. I was also ordained at this church. My father, who was a Baptist minister, the Baptist minister who married my wife and I, and my former police chaplain made up my ordination council. These were the high points of my tenure as pastor of Faith Community Church.

The low points were many. The death of my grandmother, and the subsequent funeral, nearly devastated me both emotionally and spiritually. The lack of money devastated me financially. And because of all of this my family life was less that idealistic. Within a year it was all over. Faith Community Church was no more.

But there was a glimmer of hope over the horizon. A small Southern Methodist congregation just down the street from Faith Church was looking for a pastor. I sent them a resume' and made some phone calls and within a week I met with the pastoral search committee at Enon Southern Methodist Church. A month later I was standing behind the pulpit as I began a new journey at the helm of a new church.

A Treatise on Human Sexuality

The desire for sexual gratification can become all-consuming. Every moment of every day can be possessed by this desire. One begins to meditate upon the act so as to experience the delights of passion.

I am thoroughly convinced that the sexual act is more than a natural instinct but rather a spiritual impulse. Maybe this is peculiar to me, I don't know. All that I do know is that I have never been able to fantasize about an abstract "super-babe." For me, I must know a person to fantasize about them. I must have more than visual stimulation. I must be able to remember a touch, a look, a smell. I must be able to hear a voice and imagine a response. These things are essential.

To this extent my wife is obviously the choice of fantasy. I can relate all of these things to her. I can recall moments of passion and seduction. I can imagine new delights and pleasures. And the wonderful thing is that I can usually experience these delights in reality. When these imaginations are fulfilled the act of love becomes a sacrament. I now have a tangible expression of that mystical desire upon which I meditated for so long. I have become the priest and she, the priestess, offering up our sacrifice of body and soul upon the altar of passion. We, in that moment, become one. We have entered into the mystery of divinity. We have become, in our own way, the imagio dei, the image of God. We two distinct personalities become "one flesh," one substance, just as God is three distinct personalities is one substance, one essence.

This union of man and woman is perhaps the greatest gift that humanity has been given besides life and salvation. Through this union we can create life. Through this union we can experience, even if briefly, true joy and bliss. The mystery of this union is the mystery of eternity itself, because these are things that we will experience permanently in the next life.

It saddens me to hear of adolescents having sexual intercourse. They are not old enough to understand the implications of the act. They certainly don't realize the sacredness of this activity. They defile themselves by having sexual relations at so young an age. They cheapen that which is holy. It is like an atheist going into church and partaking of the Sacrament of Holy Communion. Sure, he or she has taken the Bread and Wine, but they have missed the Mystery! They defile themselves, but not the Sacrament. To partake of the Sacrament one must believe in it and be part of the Church. To partake of the sacrament of love one must also believe and be a part of the other.

Passion and desire, fantasy and lust, are not bad in and of themselves. In the beginning God created them all, and when He had finished He said it was "very good." But it only remains good in a monogamous, marriage relationship. As long as it is in its proper sphere, the act of love-making is a truly beautiful thing. If you doubt this just read The Song of Solomon in the Bible. That makes for some good erotic reading! The passion found there between husband and wife should be an inspiration for us all. Their desire, for a time, had become all-consuming. Their every waking moment was possessed by desire. It was spiritual. It was "good." And it was given by God.

God is Near

When life becomes a trouble
And all around seems drear,
When vexations seem to double,
Know that God is near!

When all about is discontent
And the world so full of fear,
When evil doth your joy prevent,
Know that God is near!

When your heart is full of sorrow
And your eyes are full of tears,
When your soul pangs in horrow,
Know that God is near!

Look up! O beleaguered child
And know that He doth hear.
For when the world hath you defiled,
Know that God is near!

A Divine Requiem

The Bread is given to me
By the servant of the Lord.
I can feel His holy Presence
As I open my heart's door.

The Wine shines red in my eyes
As I bow my head to sip.
"This is my blood...shed for you."
Rings true upon His servant's lips.

In the midst of holy silence
As I return to my own pew,
I think about the grace of God
Which was shed for me and you.

Fr. Rick